Construction on Both Sides of the Window   Recently updated !

A school is being built outside our apartment window. Every morning at 7:00 an air horn signals to the construction workers that it’s time to get to work. The structure is slowly stealing our view of the Hudson River. At certain times of year we can stand in the corner or our living room and still see the sky painted pink, purple, orange and red as the sun dips lower over New Jersey, but for the most part, our view is now mostly of silver beams and orange netting as the building climbs skyward. I’ve never been one to be […]



My Letter to the Steering Wheel   Recently updated !

Dear Steering Wheel, You did nothing to deserve the abuse I just put you through. I’m the one who made you drive me and my three-year-old to his second day of preschool. I told you which way to go and you listened. You listened when we got in the car and I desperately tried to act happy and excited for the sake of my son. You listened when we practiced how we would say goodbye when we got to his classroom. “Bye, Dimitri! I’ll see you soon!” I said. “Bye Mommy! I’ll see you soon!” my son happily responded. You […]

Love/Hate   Recently updated !

I stood on the opposite side of the court looking at the impossibly tall and handsome, young man who was my tennis partner that afternoon. I was exhausted and we hadn’t yet hit one ball. “Mom,” he seemed to say to the windshield, “We need to play. I need to play.” We were on our way back from his weekly therapy session. More and more often lately he’d been emerging from the ugly, low-rise office building agitated with eyes that seemed puffy from crying. There was never any explanation and I’d learned not comment on the crying bit. “I don’t […]



As He Falls to Sleep 1   Recently updated !

That sweet bliss of watching him fall off to sleep at the end of a long day. How he lies there so quietly just staring at the ceiling thinking of… I don’t know what. I wish I did know. Maybe what Lego he’ll build tomorrow. His eyes close for a bit then open slowly again. No. Not asleep yet. I watch as his body relaxes more and falls deeper into his pillow. Lying on his side, with his cheeks and lips pressed up looking sort of smushed up, making him look like he’s blowing kisses. So cozy. His active body finally […]